mcgruff the crime dog

plumber's crack derailed mccain's campaign by Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

As gracious as John McCain was in his concession speech, you may have noted that he left the analysis of what went wrong to the pundits. Herewith we take up the challenge of the Big Dog with the Bad Attitude. The weakness, it turns out, was something Warrior Ant Press likes to call, Plumber's crack. There was a huge plumber's crack running right through the middle of the campaign and it caused too many people, even his handlers, to turn away and not see the problem with their approach.


Back in 2000 the US Census Bureau asked folks to self-identify their ancestry. These results are shown on a county-by-county basis for the entire USA in the above map. Clicking on the map will allow you to explore it in greater detail. Here's the important story in the map. The light tan counties on the map are where the majority of a county identifies itself as being of American ancestry (whatever that is). This swatch, this plumber's crack runs from Texas through Oklahoma, Arkansas, Southern Missouri, and on into Tennessee, Kentucky, and West Virginia. These areas were heavily Republican in the 2008 election; even more so than in the 2004 election.

However troubling the crack may be for some, the good news is that it continues to shrink. The problem with the Republicans was that they didn't see it as a crack in the first place. Or else they had their head in it and couldn't see out. More and more folks are referring to themselves as being of a different ancestory than American. I suspect an American ancestry means your family has been in the country long enough to forget, or not focus too heavily, on your ancestral heritage, but my guess if you ask these folks who they think they are what they'll mostly say is that they're white. The rest of the country identifies with an ancestory other than that of the nebulous American and sees itself outside of this issue of who is white and who is black, brown, or any other color. The Obama camp understood this simple demographic aspect and worked to unify the rest of the country.

If you look at a map of party voting shifts from 2004 to 2008, the only places that became more Republican in 2008 are the same places where the self-labeled Americans reside. This gets to several things. It speaks to the McCain/Palin idea of labeling their ardent supporters as being the real America. This same broad swatch has frequently been called the bible belt, still evident today but shrinking in influence for the country as a whole save the Republican Party base. Geographically, these areas represent but a small part of the country as a whole. A big problem with the McCain/Palin campaign was that they let themselves be high-jacked by a very small percentage of America - the conservative Christian base of the Republican party, les Americanos. It's not that big a place anymore. And it's not going to get bigger. Not in it's current iteration. In order for the Republicans to survive, they'll have to rethink what they're doing. Lose the Limbaugh, Hannity, Savage blow-hard approach to yelling at people and find something else to focus on.

I suggest the GOP begin to focus on domestic issues that matter to a much larger audience than just the top 1 percent who contribute so much to the RNC coffers. Instead they should be focusing on living wages, affordable housing and health-care, and helping small businesses grow. This is what Country First could mean and until it does, the Republicans will be playing on the sidelines and watching the Democrats try and make the world a better place. Let's hope they can make it happen.

plumber overturns straight-talk express by Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

The so-called Straight Talk Express, driving like mad to get McGruff the Crime Dog to his designated appointment with a large block of ice, skidded on a highway today and overturned. Interestingly, the bus had just stopped to pick up Joe-da-Plumber to serve as an economic advisor to the campaign. According to a McCain campaign spokesperson, Joe's (neither a plumber nor a business owner he) ideas were so far from the center that they caused the campaign to further lose its balance and slide deeper into a tailspin.

mccain to freeze solid over the weekend by Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

In an effort to prove that even though he doesn't have the intellectual curiosity to be President, but still has the mettle, McGruff the Crime Dog will freeze himself in a block of ice over the weekend. The cube is expected to melt in time for McCain to at least vote for himself on Tuesday even as independents continue to abandon his campaign. His VP-candidate, Sarah America, has agreed to campaign in McCain's stead and to occasionally stop, check the geezer's pulse, and feed him fresh-killed meat. Campaign insider's suggest that this event will only partial fulfill one of the Senator's fantasies - the one that includes an igloo, a bear-skin rug, and a sharply-dressed young woman.

zealots for zealots by Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

You'll be happy to note that although we have yet to endorse John McCain for President of the United States others have stepped in to offer support. Joining the likes of rabble-rousers Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Michael Savage, and Bill O'Reilly, members of Al Queda last week offered their ringing endorsement of McGruff the Crime Dog for President.

Why? Al Queda knows that the world-wide instability generated by having the largest military in the world governed by zealots whose ideology is peppered with the irrational thought processes allows the terrorists an opportunity to continue to foment their own brand of ideology peppered with irrational thought processes on the rest of the world.

john mccain is a commie-pinko-fag by Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

and a t errorist.

















Here's some FAST TALK on voter fraud.


And a list of clothes purchased for Sarah Palin (reported in the NYTimes Caucus Blog, Oct. 22, 2008). If you can't play the part, then the least you can do is to try and LOOK the part. Sarach America - she's natty AND nutty.

• $75,062.63 spent at Neiman Marcus on Sept. 10.

• $41,850.72 to Saks Fifth Avenue in New York on Sept. 10.

• $7,575.02 to Saks Fifth Avenue in St. Louis on Sept. 10.

• $5,102.71 to Bloomingdale’s in New York on Sept. 10.

• $789.72 to Barney’s New York on Sept. 10.

• Charges of $4,396.94 and $512.92 at Macy’s in Minneapolis on Sept. 10.

• $4,537.85 to Macy’s in Minneapolis on Sept. 22.

• $349.50 to Lord & Taylor in New York on Sept. 25.

• $4,902.08 to Atelier New York, a men’s clothing boutique, on Sept. 10.

• Two separate charges of $98 to Pacifier, a high-end baby store in Minneapolis, on Sept. 10 and Sept. 25.

• $98.50 to Steinlauf & Stoller, a sewing supply store, in New York on Sept. 25.

• $133 to the Gap in Minneapolis on Sept. 25.

• $75,062.63 spent at Neiman Marcus on Sept. 10.

• $41,850.72 to Saks Fifth Avenue in New York on Sept. 10.

• $7,575.02 to Saks Fifth Avenue in St. Louis on Sept. 10.

• $5,102.71 to Bloomingdale’s in New York on Sept. 10.

• $789.72 to Barney’s New York on Sept. 10.

• Charges of $4,396.94 and $512.92 at Macy’s in Minneapolis on Sept. 10.

• $4,537.85 to Macy’s in Minneapolis on Sept. 22.

• $349.50 to Lord & Taylor in New York on Sept. 25.

• $4,902.08 to Atelier New York, a men’s clothing boutique, on Sept. 10.

• Two separate charges of $98 to Pacifier, a high-end baby store in Minneapolis, on Sept. 10 and Sept. 25.

• $98.50 to Steinlauf & Stoller, a sewing supply store, in New York on Sept. 25.

• $133 to the Gap in Minneapolis on Sept. 25.

Errorist poster by rdebris.

mayday mayday by Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

You can bet that by Friday, once he's certain that Black Obama is safely out of the lower 48 and at his dying grandmother's bedside, John McCain will be resorting to anything, anything, to make some headlines. With less than 2 weeks left in the campaign, McGruff's ship is listing heavily starboard and in danger of breaking up completely.

If something big doesn't happen by Friday evening, McGruff will start choking chickens, plucking and eviscerating them with his bare hands, and dropping them whole in a deep fat fryer somewhere in the outskirts Philadelphia to convince unemployed day laborers that he (McCain) has the right stuff. Given his campaign agility, Senator McCain will likely call such an event, "out of the deep fat and into the fryer". Governor Palin's role? Smile and say, "Hush puppy! Hush!"

mcgruff plans european tour by Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

McGruff the Crime Dog, here accompanied by his driver, Wooster the Welsh Terrier, chagrined by the huge crowds that Obama drew in Munich and Paris, is reported to be planning his own European tour. To emphasis his tough stance on high gas prices (about 1.5 times in Europe than in the US), McGruff plans to tour European capitals in a golf cart. It's an idea he claims to have gotten from another old geezer completely out-of-touch with reality.

Said McGruff, "It's like that glass coffin His Holiness rides around in, except mine comes with it's own personal ball washer!" Europeans are expected to to lay down their arms and welcome the dogs with shock and awe.

mccain's ineligibility by Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.


Turns out that not only did spending 5 years in a N. Vietnamese prison not qualify McGruff the Crime Dog to be President, he's not qualified under the U.S. Constitution because he's not as he needs to be, "natural-born citizen." We call this a lose lose lose situation.

McCain was born in the Panama Canal Zone in 1936 to U.S. citizens. The law that allowed children of American parents born in the canal zone to be U.S. citizens was written passed one year after McCain's birth and citizenship retroactively. Sure it's a technicality, but the Constitution says "natural born."

Republicans, who like laws, except when they don't, have chosen once again to ignore the Constitution and it's Amendments, in this case the 14th. I'm not saying the law makes any sense but aren't these the same folks who are always trotting out the law and waving it around at folks.