new puppy names / by Warrior Ant Press Worldwide Anthill Headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

It can be confusing to name your new puppy. I suppose there are rules, or more aptly put, guidelines. Shouldn't rhyme with sit, or stay - which might rule out Twit or Gay. Shouldn't be easily confused with common household items or drinks. That rules out Rake, Shovel, and Broom as well as IPA, Latte, and Soda.

One should be able to call the dog in public and not be embarrassed. If you're older than 7 you might want to stay away from Fluffy, Cuddles, Winnie, or Bubbles.

If you fancy yourself a macho dude and show up at the dog park with a Chinese Crested Hairless (flags should be raising already!) yelling, "Here, POWDER PUFF, here!" well, you only have yourself to blame. Opt for a strong, yet sensitive name, perhaps with an air of mystery. "WAR", although strong sounding, is still brittle around the edges. Some might get your subtle reference to the funk bank, but others might just see you as a jarhead.

Do not call your dog ROCKY as they are more prone to biting (Julie Chao, 1997 San Francisco Examiner); probably because they can't box.

Or TINKLE BELL. Unless you like dogs who wee on the carpet.

Or TOAD. Do you really want a toady dog? A better name might be THOR.

SAL is a name rarely used and could fit either a stud or a bitch.

If your puppy is feisty, then you might be tempted to go with SPARKY or SPARKS. If you're an indie music fan then perhaps just FEIST.

My new dog's name? PAPER TIGER.